Cycle 19: Fertility Cleanse

A new Cycle finally! When I started thinking I had conceived this last cycle, I realized how fearful I felt because DH has not had enough "time" to be on the supplements to improve his DNA damage and morphology. I also started feeling that I may not have done enough for myself physically to prepare for another pregnancy. I find it so very difficult to wait until March to TTC in earnest, so I was looking for way to bide my time. Looking around the web I came across a natural fertility site that sells a "Fertility Cleanse" kit. It piqued my interest.

Herbs and vitamins and natural methods of promoting good health fascinate me to no end and feed my inner-hippie chic, so I'm a sucker. It has some really great supplements to cleanse the liver and uterus and to boost fertility naturally by balancing out hormones with things like milk thistle seed, Goldenseal, dandelion, Red Rasberry leaf, wild yam, burdock root, Don Quai, and False Unicorn root. I don't know if it is actually effective or not, but I think it will give me a chance to do some self-care and at least feel like I've done my best to create a healthful environment for another baby. Hopefully this will distract me enough to exercise patience in the midst of my urgency to hurry up and TTC given my AMA (advanced maternal age) and my predictable surge in sex drive during ovulation.
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I'll report back on how it goes and whether I recommend it. More information about the Fertility Cleanse is here: http://natural-fertility-info.com/prepare-for-conception . The site has some interesting articles.

I've also begun a new natural, vegan, food based prenatal vitamin that I'm excited about by Rainbow Light called "Just Once Prenatal One." http://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Light-Prenatal-Multivitamin-Tablets/dp/B000EE8036 . It is packed with vitamins (way more than my other brand) and has calcium and iron in addition to being gentle on the stomach.

Disappearing Shadow Lines!

I've done a number of tests now and most seem to get shadow lines that look promising but disappear as they dry. I'm recording all as BFN and I think I'm "out" this month. Maybe I have a bad batch of IC's. I am reminded of how frustrating this part of the 2WW really can be when hopes are going up and down. At the same time, I know we're not ready to TTC wholeheartedly, not until DH has more time on the supplements...which will be my March cycle. I mean, did I really think we'd get preggers our first month back? I'm holding out hope for March!

Early Detection of Conception

So I'm still focused on symptoms, but perhaps less so today, 8 DPO (days post ovulation), as they don't seem as prominent. I'm peeing a bit less frequently and breast tenderness has decreased some. At the same time, I'm still noticing unusual things: my toes/feet keep cramping up, I'm really spacey, have shortness of breath, and have a lot of crampy feelings in my abdomen. Another woman and I on FF are both talking about feeling so many symptoms, almost like "knowing you're pregnant" just days after ovulation.

This got me thinking: How frequently do we actually concieve but the embryo fails to implant succesfully? Is this really common?

And then I found out something fascinating: the earliest sign of pregnancy can be measued JUST 48 HOURS after conception! There is a protein called "Early Pregnancy Factor" believed to be triggered by another chemical secreted by the conceptus almost immediately. It's presence can be tested for with the "rosette inhibition assay" just 48 hours after conception. Wow! A TTC's dream...get rid of the whole 2ww!

Given this fact, it is no wonder so many women "know" they're pregnant and have pregnancy type symptoms BEFORE implantation (7-10 DPO). Their bodies are already well aware of the pregnancy and are going into action. It would also explain why in some cycles women really do feel pregnant but never get a positive pregnancy test: it's quite possible they had symptoms of conception but implantation was unsuccesful.

Here's an interesting study on the topic of EPF and the detection of pregnancy before implantation:

Time of implantation of the conceptus and loss of pregnancy:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10362823
(Bottom line: just over 60% of women who concieved went on to have succesful implantation and clinical pregnancy.)

My thinking for this cycle, since we had not started trying in earnest (not until March was the plan), is that I while I really did not think we would/could get pregnant this cycle, I do suspect conception was somehow succesful given my over-abundance of symptoms. The real question now is whether the embryo will implant succesfully. The only way to know is to see whether HCG is produced and becomes detectable in the next few days with an HPT. Of course, I'll never know for sure if I'm right...not unless I could get someone to give that test to detect EPF!!

I'll be POAS like a mad women for the next several days, guaranteed, at any rate!

2ww Obsessing: 5-6 DPO Symptoms

Okay, having been preggers three times in the last 2 years means I am REALLY aware of pregnancy symptoms. It's still very early but I am having TONS of symptoms already, starting a bit at 3DPO and then really getting intense on 5 DPO. I researched and found that there are hormone changes and elevations pre-implantation (so it is possible to have symptoms before 7-10 DPO). I think they are primarily related to Progesterone jumps.
http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/12/12/2607.full.pdf

I want to record them because they're either just crazy hormonal symptoms this month and I should disregard these in the future, or they're actual pregnancy symptoms.

Implantation could not have occurred yet, so there is still the possibility it won't happen (even if conception did) and then my symptoms would just fade into regular PMS symptoms.

Here is the loooong list, taken from the Countdown to Pregnancy site I'm using in addition to my own notes. This is the most symptoms I've ever had in any cycle (BFP or BFN) but I tend to have more symptoms on BFP cycles.

Spacey/lapses in brain function!
Vivid Dreaming
Sharp Round Ligament pain when stretching upon waking
Shortness of Breath (when singing)
Abdomen: Feels like a "lump" in my stomach
Abdomen: Bloating- abs are really swollen tonight
Abdomen: Gas/Flatulence- crazy gassy since like 2DPO
Abdomen: Heaviness/Fullness
Abdomen: Mild/Dull Cramps/Pressure
Abdomen: Pulling/Pinching
Abdomen: Twinges
Abdomen: UTI or Feels Like
Back & Legs: Achy Legs or Hips- leg muscles feel soooo sore in pm
Back & Legs: Backache
Chest: Breasts Feel Heavy or Full
Chest: Heartburn
Chest: Increased Breast Size
Chest: Sore/Sensitive Nipples
Chest: Tender Breasts, esp in the pm
Emotional: "I Just Feel Pregnant"
Emotional: Crankiness/Irritability
Emotional: Depressed
Emotional: Weepy
Head: Dizziness or Light Headed
Head: Dry Mouth/Increased Thirst
Head: Headache -very off and on
Head: Increased Sense of Smell - neighbor's cooking, herbs, vitamins
Head: Sore Throat
Head: Strange/Metallic Taste in Mouth
Head: Stuffy Nose
Overall: Sleeplessness
Pelvis: Diarrhea
Pelvis: Increased Cervical Fluid
Stomach: Nausea-waves in the morning, queezy until eating breakfast

Pregnancy Fertility Prayer

I decided to compose a prayer for the new year related to our infertility and recurrent loss...praying in faith to God!

Dear Gracious Creator Lord: You created everything that is and all of life is yours. You give life and you take it away. Your ways are inscrutable and your ways are not our ways, but your ways are always true and just. In our human frailty, we call out to you in prayer and ask you to hear us. We come boldy to your throne in Your Son Jesus' name, knowing that you ARE a loving God and Father who cares "for the least of these." We know that with you "ALL things are possible": You are the God that created the world, spoke through a burning bush, freed the Israelites from bondage, broke down the walls of Jericho, raised up prophets and kings, brought victory when victory was otherwise impossible, and you deigned to come to earth, God in human form in the guise of a little baby, in order to rescue us from sin and death. You have conquered evil in Jesus through the cross and the resurrection and you have redeemed humanity in your faithful love and mercy. You are ALMIGHTY GOD. Your miracles are too many to number! You have blessed older, barren women with babies, women like Sarah and Elizabeth, and then you blessed a virgin to become the mother of the Son of God. Nothing is too great for you!

And so I pray on behalf of all women suffering with infertility and pregnancy loss and ask you to grant us, as is Your will, healthy children. And Lord, this year I ask that you give my husand and I health of body and mind and that you please bless me and my family with a healthy baby, that we may rejoice and give you praise, because you are a God who turns weeping into joy and mourning into dancing. We pray earnestly for the joy, the blessing, and the miracle of a healthy baby in 2011. We ask not because we are worthy or because we deserve it, we ask because you are merciful and gracious, abounding in steadfast love, and able to do all things. O God, our strength, our hope, and our redeemer, our hope is in you and you alone. Thank you Lord. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray. AMEN.