A Christmas Chemical

So I knew we conceived immediately after ovulating this cycle and I continued to have every pregnancy symptom known to man, with the biggest symptom being related to my uterus with stretching, tugging enlarging, twitching, and that feeling a rock-in-my-stomach sensation ALL cycle long.  I had nausea, bloating, bachache, sore nipples, gas, heartburn, aching teeth, side stitches, light headedness/dizzies, shortness of breath, stuffy nose/throat, and major acne flare up.  Yep, I was preggers. I started getting faint lines and squinters late though...around 12DPO and those continued through 16DPO, about 10 of them like the one below, on many different brands and tests.

But today, just before Christmas, the witch showed up along with diving temps, making this my sixth loss in a row. So, happy freakin Christmas to me.

I'm particularly upset by this loss because my symptoms were so strong that I really felt pregnant and got my hopes up. And, of course, there's that whole "Christmas miracle" thing to consider in this "magical season." We lost Annabelle around this time 2 years ago and she was also due in August, so I had my heart set on an August baby...it gave me such hope.  I think as the losses pile up too, I feel more and more certain that I'm just never going to be able to get a take home baby with DH. 

On the hopeful side of things:

1. We got a new diagnosis in 2011 and we're moving to IUI in 2012, now with new meds.

2. Clearly I'm still fertile enough to get pregnant: 3 times in 2011.

3. My body seems to be responsive in terms of hormones to pregnancy.

4. I've been taking supplements for over 3 months along with acupuncture, so my eggs/body should be healthier in 2012 than 2011. 

On a lighter/sarcastic note, I did decide I have a new Christmas theme song, "Drunk on Christmas" by Jimmy Fallon. I'm not a drinker, but I do appreciate the sentiment, and YES...I can drink this holiday since I'm not preggers.

Christmas is a time

A special time of the year

With peace and joy and happiness
...

For opening your presents

Underneath the tree

For spending countless hours

With your familly
That's why i'm drinking,drinking,drinking

I'm gonna drink all day

I'm going home for Christmas

And my family's insane

Just gotta make it through the day

And there's no other way

I'm gonna get drunk drunk drunk

On christmas

Christmas BFP Poem

AF is due on Christmas Eve


I wonder what else Santa has up his sleeve

A BFP would make my day

But I imagine it going the other way



Oh how I would love to see that second line

And to have another baby of mine

Please Santa bring me some Christmas joy

DH would love a girl but I'd like another boy



That evil witch has been getting her way

For far too long, this is MY holiday

Stay away you evil hag

Please Santa bring me a BFP in your bag



I'll stay positive for as long as I can

At least I have DH and my little man

I've been trying for over a year for number two

Santa, you know what to do



Please grant me this Christmas wish

And I'll leave you some yummy cookies on a dish
 
-Posted by a Cayman4 on FF (she got her BFP this week too)

My Fertility Supplement Concoction

Someone recently posted a question on FF asking whether they were going "overboard" with supplements. When I read her list, I thought it sounded like nothing...just 6-7 supplements or so. Compared to what I'm currently taking, most people's supplement list would sound reasonable though. My list is INSANELY long.

So, here is everything I'm taking as of December 2011 and why. The things I'm battling are recurrent loss, possible immune issues due to elevated NK cell activity, advanced maternal age (39), and diminished ovarian reserve (fewer good eggs), in addition to some stagnation and deficiencies of the kidney, spleen and liver based on my symptoms according to traditional Chinese medicine.

For general prenatal health and improved egg quality:

• Rainbow Lite Prenatal One Vitamins - one of the best whole-food prenatals I could find reasonably priced


• 1,000 mg Folic Acid w/Vitamins B6 & 12 (Folgard)


• CoQ10 - 200 mg


• Green Tea extract (antioxidant) -300 mg


• Pycnogenol -100 mg


• Calcium w/magnesium & zinc- 1000 mg


• L-Carnitine - 500 mg


• Wheatgrass

For treatment of immune issues/inflammatory response and recurrent miscarriage:

• Zyflamend


• Baby Aspirin


• 4000 mg Fish Oil


• Vitamin E- 800 IU


• Liquid Chlorophyl


• Selenium - 200 mg


• 2400 IU Vitamin D3


• Medizym V - powerful enzyme


• MSM Powder - for improved circulation & Raynaud's Syndrome

To increase major organ health (qi) due to various organ deficiencies a la TCM from "The Infertility Cure":

• Milk Thistle: for liver qi / deficiency


• Ginseng- 250 mg: for spleen qi/ deficiency


• Astralagus/Atractylodes: for spleen qi/ deficiency


• Vitex: for kidney yang and to regulate hormones - 500 mg

To increase fertile CM (CD 8 until O only):

• grapefruit juice


• Mucinex


• Evening Primrose Oil

In addition I am doing fertility acupuncture about once a week and have started spin classes. I can't imagine I could take anything else at this point and I hope I'm doing more good than harm. With all the "possible" issues I'm facing. I'm taking so many things I need to work my schedule around them! I will say one thing: I never get sick anymore, even when my daughter and husband do, so I assume I'm doing something good for my health.

So yeah, I dare anyone to show me a longer list of supplements! Overboard? Yep. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. And infertility certainly causes desperation.