Okay, this stage of pregnancy feels like purgatory to me. The image at the left is a painting of souls trapped in purgatory from Notre Dame. I'm pregnant at the moment, now just over 5 weeks along, so I'm certainly not in hell, but I'm far from being in heaven because I'm so fearful of another loss and I'm just waiting and hoping that all will be well.
I had my beta's done (blood work to check how much HCG-human chorionic gonadotropin or 'pregnancy hormone' is being produced). These numbers cannot guarantee any particular outcome, but they do provide a glimpse into the potential viability of the pregnancy. They are apart of my purgatory torture. My beta's with my last pregnancy started out quite low, and having researched this a lot since then, I now see that things were not going well from the beginning. However, my doubling time was excellent, so my low numbers at the beginning were overlooked.
Here are my beta's from my last pregnancy and miscarriage:
16 DPO: 63
18 DPO: 440
Here are my beta's from my current pregnancy:
12 DPO: 40
14 DPO: 122
17 DPO: 453
As you can see, my early beta's were are a lot higher this time around, and based on my doubling time, my day 16 beta would be about 300...quite a lot more than 63. This brings me some comfort, although I can't help wishing they were even higher just to give me some extra assurance. For now I can only hope and pray, because again, nothing is certain.
Here is a study I came across and saved the last time I was pregnant...it freaked me out at the time, and now I see it was predictive of my sad outcome.
16 DPO Beta Study...What your Beta may mean:
25 - 50 hCG at 16dpo -- Four women in this study had hCG levels below 50 at this stage. The researchers concluded that with these levels less than 25% would continue on with their pregnancy with more than 75% miscarrying.
50 - 100 hCG at 16dpo -- Of 16 women, 25% continued on with their pregnancies.
100 - 199 hCG at 16dpo -- Of 27 women with these levels, 73% continued on with their pregnancies.
200 - 299 hCG at 16dpo -- Of 48 women, 96% continued on with their pregnancies
Over 300 hCG -- All 105 women continued on with their pregnancies.
And another study I found from OBGYN News:
A quote:
"The investigators reviewed all IVF pregnancies at the New Jersey center from June 1998 to March 2004. A total of 53 patients did not have a fetal heartbeat at the end of the first trimester. Their mean [beta]-HCG levels were 56 mIU/mL on day 16, and 115 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 24 mIU/mL.
Levels and slopes were much higher for the remaining 269 women with viable pregnancies with mean levels of 216 mIU/mL on day 16 and 505 mIU/mL on day 18, with an average slope of 140 mIU/mL.
Most of the women, 180, had singleton pregnancies. Their average [beta]-HCG levels were 169 mIU/mL on day 16 and 401 mIU/mL on day 18. The researchers noted that the average slope of 111 mIU/mL was 4.62 times higher than in the pregnancies that were not viable."
I know women who have had great outcomes with low betas, but I was not one of them. I also know of women who had losses even with high betas. For now I will continue to place myself and my little one in God's hands, knowing anything may happen. And I am grateful that I am pregnant at this moment: thank you God. Of course, I don't know when I'll be out of this purgatory...perhaps not until (and unless) I deliver a healthy baby. Give me strength.
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