Sunday, September 18, 2011

Chemical Pregnancy is My New Middle Name

I have been neglectful of my blog...it's been hard to write about purely bad news. My goodness. I had a chemical pregnancy loss in July/August on the heels of my May/June loss, followed by another *possible* chemical pregnancy loss at the end of August, making it three chemicals in a row. I'm three for three cycles! That's just crazy.

Honestly, the late August cycle is still a mystery to me. I took a HPT right before Aunt Flow arrived and it was still a faint positive. I started bleeding for four days, figured it was over and did not retest and decided to take a month off of TTC. I thought BDing/being intimate on CD 4 would be safe! But then I started having an upsurge in early pregnancy symptoms 7 days later so I took a test (just to assure myself I could not be pregnant still) and it came up faintly positive.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I continued to get very faint positive tests for several days on multiple brands and so I made an appointment with a new OB in our new city, again fearing an ectopic. I think he thought I was nuts, but at least he talked to me at length about my history of pregnancy loss. My progesterone was borderline (10ish) so hard to say if I had actually ovulated again or not.


Long story short, I started bleeding and the tests finally went negative/BFN and the beta came back negative that weekend.


Was this a continuation of the former chemical loss, now 11 days later, or was this a new loss? I'll never know. I am tempted to think I might have ovulated on CD 5 because I had many of the signs/symptoms of it then. And if I did, the egg would most likely be too immature to develop properly. Here are 2 tests (in addition to numerous Dollar Tree tests and others not shown) that I took on what would then have been 9 DPO (if a new loss) or 30 DPO (if from the same loss):



I am starting to feel like an expert on chemical pregnancy loss, in addition to recurrent pregnancy loss. I know that most women who are not obsessively tracking and TTC would never know they were even pregnant with these very early losses, so in some ways that lifts some of the weight of it for me...because I believe I am now up to 6 losses in a row.


Eeeeegads that sounds dismal! You have to wonder what hope is left...and, well, that requires a new post.

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