My tests on 13DPO were disappointing: the Answer Early was a tad darker but the Wondfo was actually lighter than 12DPO. I started to feel very anxious and took another Wondfo around 8pm after a 5 hour hold and it was even lighter than 12DPO. I decided I needed to accept that this pregnancy wasn't going to make it, that my lines were getting lighter and would continue that way, and I did a lot praying and attempting to let go. It was a painful night.
I dejectedly took a Wondfo today at 14 DPO at 3pm after a 6-7 hour hold fully expecting it to be BFN or nearly invisible. Once again I was taken off guard when it turned darker than any tests to date. I bought a new package of Answer Early's and it was about the same, perhaps lighter. I took an IC and that was dramatically darker though, which made me smile... about three times as dark as yesterday's. So...mixed results from the tests but I feel like as long as they're getting darker, then I'm not out yet.
Tomorrow I go in for my second beta. I feel like the numbers are going to be low and I'm really anxious/scared about the results. I'm not expecting good news, but every now and then, I have a moment of hope that maybe things will turn out all right.
I think I may need to seriously "step away from the pee sticks" like everyone always advises. I see that with every test I am up and down and can't really see the "forest" through the trees. Perhaps testing every other day would be a good compromise: I can check to see how things are progressing but not obsess over lines every day. There is a much more noticeable difference between tests every other day anyway.
I will wait and see how the betas go...hopefully I'll know something tomorrow.
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