This is graphic, so please don't read it if you're squeamish or young. It's really meant for women who are considering taking Misoprostol to induce labor for a missed miscarriage, which is what happened to me.
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My OB and RE wanted me to get another D & C but I just couldn't do it. Last time it was the right thing but this time I absolutely could not let anyone take my baby away from me to a lab to be disposed. I needed to see and hold my little one, tell her/him they are loved, and bury them on my own terms with prayers and a sense of a sacred ending. I also wanted to avoid any potential scarring of a second D & C.
I set up my room with candles, calming CD's, a heating pad, and plenty of disposable water proof sheets and Overnight pads in preparation for this. I do recommend those disposable water proof sheets (they can be found near the pads and Depends at the store). I waited until my husband was back from work and could be with me for the whole weekend in case anything went wrong and I needed to get to the hospital.
I prayed and then took four 200mg pills (800 mg) of Misoprostol vaginally at 1:30pm on Friday, hoping to miscarry that night. Preventively I took Advil and then later some Vicodin when some mild cramping started because I read it could get really intense. However, the cramping was light and I only started bleeding a few blood clots around 10:30pm after I took a walk to get things going. Then it stopped and nothing else happened. I slept the night and woke up to some bigger cramps and medium bleeding that again subsided in an hour. I realized the meds just weren't working and was stressed by this because I really wanted to avoid a D & C.
I had my husband get a second dose at the pharmacy and reinserted the same amount at 11am that morning (Saturday). NOTHING happened. I started to cry and get crazy by 7pm and decided to check my cervix. I felt in there and could feel all four of those pills completely intact, not having dissolved at all...no wonder they weren't working. I should have wet them first I guess, but instead I crushed them as much as I could with my fingers up inside me...very messy and unpleasant. I probably lost 1/2 a pill doing this.
However, by 7:30pm, the cramps started. I took Advil at 7:45pm. By 8pm the cramps were turning into contractions and I was bleeding and passing blood clots.
By 9:00pm the bleeding was out of control...I soaked through 6 HUGE overnight Always pads in an hour and was leaking all over the bed and my clothes with every contraction despite the pads. I took the Vicodin but it was too late. By 9:30pm I felt a very strong contraction, ran to the bathroom but pushed the gestational sac out on to my pad before I could make it to the toilet.
It was heart wrenching and amazing at the same time that I could clearly see our little 8 week baby in his/her amniotic sac floating inside the gestational sac/bag of waters....maybe just under an inch long. I cried and held him/her and placed everything in a container so that we could bury him/her.
After that I had one more large contraction and large blood clot came out and the cramps really susbisded. The heating pad was very helpful that night and I mostly felt relief that I had made it through the ordeal. I took a shower and cleaned up the bathroom because it honestly looked like a horror movie in there with all the blood. The Vicodin made me sleep and I went to bed. I passed some more clots at 4am with cramping and took more Vicodin.
Since then I've been bleeding with mild cramping but it was basically a short two hour labor once the meds worked. I have been extremely tired/fatigued since and crying a lot as I try to comprehend this tragic loss.
Tomorrow we hope to do the burial with flowers from the florist and a little black memory box I found. I personally would do the Misoprostol again with pain killers, but make sure they were dissolved/dissolving properly. This method is NOT for the faint hearted or those who are concerned about seeing a lot of blood...it is a VERY visceral experience.
I will go back for an ultrasound to see if everything passed...I am afraid of retained tissue which would mean a D & C, but hoping for the best.
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