BFP at 4dp5dt!!

I got a faint but very much there BFP on 9DPO/4dp5dt.  I actually had a maybe something there line on 8DPO, but it was way too faint to call it. It has been an intense emotional rollercoaster ever since. In fact, the day of my BFP I felt completely unexcited, just totally pessimistic, bracing myself for anoher loss because I have had almost nothing in the way of symptoms. In fact, this has been completely different from any pregnancy I've ever had in terms of symptoms (or lack thereof).  I don't know if the reason is that my hormones are not being produced by my own body (estrogen and progesterone)  or if it is different simply because it is a donor egg/embryo.  But I have become accustomed to knowing when I am pregnant because I have so many predictable symptoms. I do have a few, but they are very mild and minor...fatigue, tightness in the abdomen, and some round ligament pains. I have had some nausea, but not much.

However, when my test darkened up on the afternoon of 10DPO, I felt hopeful again because the line was so much darker than the day before. But on 11DPO, my morning Wondfo test looked the same, if not lighter than previously and I was down all day, fighting tears. I decided to get my beta done early then, feeling like I couldn't be in limbo any longer. I was shocked when that evening, at 5:30pm, the clinic called to tell me and that my beta hcg was 96! I had to make them repeat it several times because I was in disbelief. Never have my initial betas been that high. 

So, tomorrow I'll have my second beta drawn. This will be very telling...if it doubles, I will draw a deep breath. With so many losses under my belt, it's hard to believe I could get good news, but things have been going well so far. I may not know until Monday what the results are...it's so hard to wait. Eeeeeps.