6w5d and 7w3d Ultrasounds

I have actual photos of our little baby! Maybe he/she looks like a blob now, but I was assured that would change in just a matter days.

At our 6 week 5 day ultrasound lil' pumpkin had a heart beat of 137 and looked big for age (though the RE didn't measure at this scan).  We were able to see and hear the heartbeat on the scan and things looked perfect.

You can see the yolk sac on the bottom below the baby, it looks like a ring and the baby is the above it, closer to the uterine wall with the beginning of the placenta forming, creating an outline.

Here is baby at 7 weeks 3 days, looking quite a bit bigger, he/she measured 2 days ahead at 13.9mm (which is good news according to the perinatologist since that means there is no slowing of growth). The heartbeat was beating great at 155:

Above the word BABY you can see the actual umbilical cord arching above the baby and it is attached to the placenta. The tech thought I had an SCH/tiny bleed at the top of the placenta, but the doctor disagreed. The baby's head is on the left facing down and the feet are on the right facing upward. It looks like you can see tiny hand buds on either side of the body. I asked about the dark spot in the baby's head and was told it was a normal part of development and had a name, but I don't remember the term.

I started feeling really sick at the 6 week mark and that has continued. I feel that it's a good sign and it provides me reassurance, even though it is very difficult to function a lot of the time. I also continue with intralipids, Lovenox, baby aspirin, folate/B12, fish and krill oil, calcium, and prenatals.  I have a long way to go yet and my next scan is during week 9. It's hard to wait that long but if things still look good, I will have passed my previous loss anniversaries. Most of the time I try not to think too much about being pregnant, it helps me cope and makes the time go a little faster while I wait to get out of the danger zone.  Stick baby, please stick.   

1st Ultrasound 5w2d

My RE brought me in for an early ultrasound today at 5weeks 2days along. The pic above isn't mine, but this is what the screen looked like! Heh.  I was nervous but feeling ready for whatever the news would be.  As soon as the tech turned on the ultrasound screen, I could see one nicely sized gestational sac. So...my beta wonkiness and slow down must have been due to losing one of the embies early on. I did feel some sadness about that, and yet also real relief that one of the embies was pulling through.

As she focused in on the sac, we saw the yolk sac too. I asked about a fetal pole but it was too early to see it clearly. The RE assured me later that this was totally expected at this stage. The gestational sac itself was measuring ahead at 5w5d, so that was comforting. He also said the sac was placed ideally in my uterus.

I left feeling very happy because I have a rationale for the slowing beta finally. I also know the pregnancy is progressing with one embryo on target and that it is not an ectopic pregnancy, nor is it a blighted ovum (because there is a yolk sac present).

I go back for another ultrasound when I reach 6w5d, so I have a bit of a wait, but the wait will be a little more bearable now. I am so grateful for the compassion and understanding of my RE today.  

Progression Pics of Wondfo, FRER, and Dollar Tree Tests

I pee on a few sticks most days to check progression even though it is not an exact science by any means.  I have an endless supply of internet cheapies that will otherwise go to waste in my closet, so I've been using them up during this pregnancy, in addition to a few other sticks. It's been kind of fascinating to see the way different tests respond to HCG. For those searching for HPT progression pics, my POAS-aholism is for your viewing pleasure. ;)

The first set are my Dollar Tree tests. The interesting thing with them is that they have continued to get darker just up until about 19DPO (my beta was 1,555 that day) and then they look the same-with the control line just a hair darker than the test line.  This makes me think that they hit a threshold with the dye around a beta of 1,000 and that they won't get darker anymore. They get the prize for progression with changing dye the longest.

UPDATE: 11/12/12:  I continued to take the Dollar Tree tests and the test line finally became darker than the control line on 26 DPO (before that it was looking about the same darkness):

The second set are the cheap wondfo's from Amazon. You can see that by 14-15 DPO the test and control lines were equally dark and that they haven't changed since despite my HCG levels rising from 300 (13DPO) to over 1,000 by 19 DPO. Their threshold is less than Dollar Tree store tests and so while they pick up the earliest BFP's, I would say they stop showing progression with betas in the 500+ range.

The final set are the more expensive tests, the First Response Early Result (FRER).  They seemed to darken up until 16 DPO, which is when the test line became darker than the control line. I like that they have the kind of dye range, but they too seem to have a threshold in the 500  beta range- as if the dye has done all it can do and simply doesn't look any darker after that. 

UPDATE 11/12/12:  I continued taking FRER's every other day and found that by 25 DPO, the test line looked the same darkness but the control line faded and continued to fade on 27DPO. So, these do keep changing, it just took a long time:

Anyway, it's important to note that these tests do not continue to darken indefinitely if you're using them for progression purposes (at least not until much, much later on and even then they hit a threshold!). At this point, my tests can't give me a lot of new information and the one reason to keep testing would only be to catch dramatically falling hcg. Also, please note that some days the lines looked lighter, only to darken up again...that was due to my urine being more dilute or because the dye just seemed less in that particular HPT. One day of lighter tests doesn't mean anything....it's only if they continue to lighten that you need to consider things further. 

Happy stick peeing! 

Betas # 1, 2, and 3

Today I am 5 weeks pregnant.  My betas have been a bit wonky and I'm not sure what to think, but so far they are:

6dp5dt/11DPO: 96
8dp5dt/13DPO: 307 (28 hour double time)
14dp5dt/19DPO: 1,555 (60 hour double time)

The slowing doubling time is of concern, even if it is in the very slow end of "normal," but it could mean a variety of things-- it may be just a random slower beta and means nothing, or one of the embryos implanted but is now arresting, or the hcg is starting to decrease because the pregnancy isn't viable.  I won't know more until I either have another beta drawn or an ultrasound during the 6th week.

I'm staying very busy with family and church and reminding myself that it's not in my hands anyway...what will be, will be.  God alone knows. I feel at peace in general with the situation and we do have 2 more tries if this one fails (not that I'm particularly excited about going through this process again). But it is possible that this, our last effort to have a child together, will not work. If so, I will not have any regrets or wonder what more we could have done.  I will know that I did my best to give my DH the child he longs for and my DD a sibling-something they both want so very much.

I use this blog to express worries that I don't share anywhere else; it's a bit like a journal and has a similar therapeutic effect. Of course, it is pretty one sided, dealing only with the one topic of infertility and the attempt to have a baby, and so all the broader life stuff that happens in a day is missing...like my walk with DD today to pick Autumn leaves to decorate the table with or my time teaching a group of youth about prayer.  

Yet I also know, having been involved in the infertility and recurrent loss community for some time, that it is comforting to know you're not alone and that others struggle and have similar feelings.  I have found that no one understands or "gets it" outside of women who have had the same experiences.  So this blog is for those women, and selfishly, for myself -to have an outlet, since I refuse to burden my loved ones with the ins and outs of this whole process. I know there are plenty of like minded women out there who understand exactly what this is like.