My response to grief is usually the same: cry and sob, but only for a few days, then dust myself off and do something about it, take action! Do something to start the healing, get stronger, and hopefully, find a way to somehow redeem the situation. But how do you redeem a miscarriage? I had to take 2 months (2 cycles) off from "trying" according to my OB, so I had to -do- something in the mean time.
My approach was to learn all about fertility, reproduction, and my body. I stormed my local library and book store and bought an excellent book called, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It was an amazing read: I couldn't get enough. I learned everything I could, reading voraciously, taking notes, creating charts. Why had no one ever taught me this stuff before? The female body is incredible and there are so many things we can do to get to know our bodies and actually understand our fertility signs. God has made us "fearfully and wonderfully."
It was so empowering...and it helped me to feel a little more in control. I started charting my symptoms: basal body temperature upon waking, checking my cervical fluid every day, taking OPK's (ovulation predictors), making note of every bodily symptom I could think of (I even tried checking my cervix but haven't made that a regular thing due to it being so uncomfortable for me!). I did this throughout September and joined the online fertility charting community called "Fertility Friend." My obsession now had a place to go, and I could feed it throughout the day!
I read other women's stories and gained hope and strength. This knowledge would be the redemption. One miscarriage is very common, and it did not put us at risk for another. I would get it "right" this time and conceive again soon. I was "in charge"! Well...sort of. One thing you have to realize about pregnancy is that it requires surrender...to God and to the whole mysterious process.
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