While it would have been amazing if we'd had a real miracle happen in our miracle month, it didn't. My betas were measured and were only 9 and then 11. I have to go back tomorrow for another blood draw to make sure they're going down to zero. It's really unnecessary since the pee sticks don't lie and they're almost negative now. But I will go back to prove to the clinic that I'm really not preggers anymore.
While it was a completely chain yanking experience to get a lovely BFP on our last TTC cycle before the donor embryo cycle, I will say that part of me is relieved. Relieved because I would have been worried sick every single moment, waiting for the shoe to drop. I have come to believe we just cannot get our sperm/egg combo to make a baby. Period. So, the much safer and much less scary option is to move forward with the donor embies...where healthy sperm and egg come together to make a healthy embryo. And a learned embryologist can study the embryo and see what we're dealing with before putting another embryo back into my uterus.
I want to make another entry about that process...but for now, I am disappointed this didn't work out. And to realize we're up to 8 (known) losses is pretty stunning. I am on the far edge of the statistics, beating the odds in all the wrong ways.
I asked DH if we could nickname this embryo "August." He agreed. We both like the name, it happened in August, and all our Angel babies are "A" names. So...goodbye dear August, I wish you could have stayed.
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